Small Note

For those of you sending me hate mail for turning off my phone.....
You know who you are.......... (Summer, JJ, Yasmine....)



For those of you still trying to reach me through my phone....



Umm..
Don't?



I kinda dropped it in the toilet.



Don't ask how.



R.I.P my widdle Sony Ericsson Z610i. Thank you for 3.5 amazing years. You will be missed.






P.S. Would it be completely pathetic if I bought the exact same phone?

Update!!!

IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

My phone never ceases to amaze me. The things it's been through! Falling into the sink, falling off a tree I was climbing, dropped too many times to mention... thrown at the wall in moments of frustration.... then swallowed by the toilet....

My god. I can almost hear it singing "I'm a survivorrrrr."

Or perhaps it's weeping because its most recent attempt at commiting suicide for the nth time has failed, once again.

Sorry baby. You're stuck with me for a while.

Hi

I'm sorry you missed it.





Didn't that cheer you right up though?

They should give those out in malls.

Please buy me one. Birthday's on January 21st. You can send it in the mail. A baby Zebra is fine too. I think they're called Zeblings.

21st century Wizard of Oz.

Is that not the cutest thing?

You just went "aww" didn't you?

Admit it.

Apfffpshhhttt?

"I just think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period. Happy people are beautiful."

Hope you're all enjoying your summer (:

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Lick it off the floor

Today I had the most enjoyable lunch of my life.
With my family, believe it or not.

Our housekeeper went back to Indonesia on Friday, so we're going to see if we can live without a maid (I don't like that word) for a month. It should be very.. very interesting.

So anyway, to avoid having to clean anything she shouldn't have to clean, my mom said that anyone who spills a drink or something has to lick it off the floor/table. And I for one -being the pathologically uncoordinated klutz that I am- am really worried.
I know she doesn't mean it literally, but cleaning worries me too. Germs either way.
I mean the soggy mops and sponges that have been used over and over again….. they make my stomach churn.

In any case. I dared my brother Majd to drink my leftover Pepsi that I'd mixed with my leftover vegetable soup. He slammed his hand on the table and basically told me to put my riyal where my mouth was. I know that the secret to haggling is starting with a really low price so I said,
"Fine. I'll give you….. *mentally goes through purse* 5 riyals."
Majd: "Make it a 10 and we have a deal."
Danya: "Deal."
I felt like a real hustler.

So he drank it. And it was so funny I laughed till I cried. He started out okay, drinking it really fast… Suddenly his face went green and he spit something out. "Carrot," he gasped. Then he drank the remaining Liquid from Hell and only spit out a tiny bit because he felt like he had to throw up. Then he ran to the bathroom and I could hear him, all the way from the dining room, while he made weird gagging then gurgling noises. Yep, he definitely deserves those 10 riyals.
And yes, I concur, I do need to grow up.

So then we split the post-lunch duties between us. My mom took the dishes, my brother took clearing the table, I took cleaning the table, and the floor, and my dad took….
The TV.
("No, dad… Please… you're overworking yourself, this can't be good for your health. We must switch tasks, I insist!")

And my sister Zeina complained about not getting any tasks.
Suck up.
Nah, she genuinely wanted a task.
Weirdo.

So my evil genius of a brother decided to take advantage of that. He called her Agent Z One and told her to assist him in clearing the table (because it's such a daunting task, you know). So she started carrying the soup to the kitchen but she nearly dropped it after a few milliseconds, so Majd grabbed it and started walking, but he spilled loads on the floor.
"CRAP! NO! I don't want to lick it off the floor... I don't want to lick it off the floorrrr...."
He ran to the kitchen and got a cleaning towel sponge thing (I'm sure there's a fancy domestic name for it) and started violently scrubbing the floor. My dad saw him cleaning after the accident and followed him to the kitchen, where my mother was. Majd gave him pleading looks, but the mischievous look in my dad's eyes told me that Majd was already a goner.
"Majd?! You spilled soup on the floor?!" But my mom only laughed (damn shame).

So then it was my turn to wipe the table, but Zeina was being really annoying. "Let me help let me help let me help! Pleeeeeeeease. Pretty pretty pleeeeease with cherries and a Hannah Montana poster on top."
I had to get her off my back.
"Zeina... I mean, Agent Z1," I said. "I have a task of utmost significance. Can you handle it?"
She nodded eagerly.
"I need you to find.... my bunny-shaped night lamp." (Needless to say, I don't have one, but my sister is not the sharpest tool in the toolbox, so she ran off happily).

My brother was having the time of his life, watching Zeina being bossed around. He may laugh now, but when he was her age, my other brother Muayyad and I used to play the old Power of Fire trick on him whenever we were too lazy to get up and get something ourselves.
So for example, if we were watching Power Rangers, and we wanted some chips, we'd tell Majd to get us a bag of chips. He'd always decline at first, but then we'd say, in a bribe-y voice, "We'll give you The Power of Fiiiirrreee….."
"Okay okay!"
So then we'd basically point at a random spot on the floor and say:
"I hereby give you…….. THE POWER OF FIRE!"
Then he'd jump into it, receive The Power of Fire, then run as fast as he can to the kitchen, get us whatever we wanted, then come back.

Good times, good times.

Anyway, my sister came back with a frown on her face.
"I didn't find a bunny-shaped night lamp. Give me another task!"
"Oh… that's okay. But Zeina, I saw what you did back there."
"What?"
"Don't play mind games with me."
"What did I do?"
"Zeina *stern glare*"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." (looking guilty)
"Mmmmhm. Sorry for what?"
"I'm sorry I made fun of you."
"A-HA! You made fun of me. You're fired, agent Z1."
And so she stalked off, fuming.

God I amuse myself.

Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds

Lucky you; today you get music, photos, and quotes! Best combo ever. Beats Happy Meals.


Newton Faulkner - Dream Catch Me

(not the type of thing I usually like, but it's pretty cool, not to mention mood-matching)

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing.

~Eric Berne

*I wish I can remember how I edited that photo, because I quite like it.

"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

~ dunno

“It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that’s dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It’s so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can’t say the things you want to.”

~ Henry Rollins

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

~ Soren Kierkegaard

“Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about you”

~ Jonathan Safran Foer

“There are some dreams that get stuck between your teeth when you sleep, so that when you open your mouth to yawn awake they fly right out of you.”

~ Jodi Picoult, Vanishing Acts

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

~ Dahl, The Twits

“I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry."

~Cat Stevens

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”

~Winnie the Pooh

Fin.

Hey I've got a question for you. I want to know what you think is worse:

Believing in something and not standing up for it/not acting upon it,

or

Fiercely denying something you already know, that place deep down that's full of wisdom and intestines, is true?

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Demon of Procrastination Rears its Ugly Head Again

This is what happens whenever I try to study math:




Weird.. angel things. Dream Theater lyrics. Dream Theater logo. An eye. My name (twice). Pink Floyd lyrics. An apple. A globe. Piano keys. Some math. And an elephant shaped like a tennis ball, holding a tennis racket. With his trunk.

I wonder what my mom would say if she saw this paper. She tends to analyze whatever I doodle.

For example, I used to draw butterflies a lot. And whenever she saw them she'd to say,
"This means you're longing to be free. Free of what, Danya? Tell me."

Then when I switched to flowers she'd say,
"Ah, so. You have bloomed. Does this mean you're free of whatever was bothering you? I'm glad."
And she leaves the room with a satisfied smile on her face.

As for eyes, I've been drawing them since 4th grade. Apparently they mean:
"Danya, you're feeling like you're constantly being watched. By whom, Danya? Tell me."

She also comments on how I write my name a lot. It means I am a narcissist. I am awed by the fact that she can so artfully balance between calling me a narcissist on some days, then telling me I need to feel more confident on others.

My mother is a weirdo. Like mother, like daughter, I suppose.

I wonder what she'd say if she saw that elephant tennis ball.

List of possible scenarios:

"You have a secret need to whack an elephant with a tennis racket."

"Wow.... This is... This is... deep, man. Real deep."

"Honey, have you been taking something? Are you riding the white pony?"

"This is...... This means..... You............ You're feeling.... This is beyond my area of expertise.... I'm calling a psychiatrist."



Math final tomorrow. Gulp.

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Typose Syndrome

Typose syndrome is a sudden inflammation of one's fingers, causing one to make very serious typing errors. While mild cases are often successfully treated with the careful treading of one's fingers upon the keyboard, severe cases may require admission to the ICU or even surgery (often requiring more than one intervention) to deal with with complications of the disease process.

Typose syndrome can also occur when one's fingers look and feel perfectly fine, which has caused doctors to believe that typose syndrome might be a psychological disease. It affects both males and females equally.



Causes

1. Hereditary - a parent could carry the gene without being affected.
2. Typose syndrome is heterogeneous, comprising more than one similar condition of differing cause, some not inherited.
3. Greasy fingers.
4. Hyperactiveness.
5. A very important story to tell (not necessarily amusing or interesting).
6. Over-studying.


Researchers have reached the conclusion that typose syndrome usually occurs:
1. in the most embarrassing contexts
2. when one is sleepy
3. when one thinks a story is funny
4. after studying physics.



Symptoms

1. Typos
2. Embarrassment
3. "Giggle" fits
4. Akathisia (the inability to sit still)
5. Festinating speech
6. Drooling
7. Diharrea
8. Inflammation of the cornea




Eponym

The term typose is derived from the Latin word for mistake: erroris.............

Skeptics believe that the term is actually, ironically, derived from a typo that occured during an MSN conversation between a Danya and a Daas - also known as Twinnie.
Daas was attemtping to type the word "typoes" (which is obviously a spelling mistake, but Daas is not the brightest star in the sky).

Diagnosis

Besides the clinical diagnosis, rapidly increasing typos may confirm the diagnosis. In a clinical diagnosis, a CAT scan and an ultrasound are used to locate and trace the origin of the disease, which is usually metastatic at presentation, and more often than not located in the pancreas.

Classic examples of chronic typose syndrome:

1. Dania* was calling Deema, the class genius, who was just refusing to answer her phone. Aggravated, Dania sent a message to Deema, saying:

"Yesterday my friend told me about a fascinating invention called dicking up when someone calls."

She had meant to sound all snippy and cool, but..... (I don't know if you noticed it, dear reader, but it's practically doing the Macarena in a sequined suit...) that typo totally killed everything. And only after a couple of hours did Dania realize what a nasty pun her typo was.

2. Daas (mentioned previously) has a tendency to type "tit" instead of "it" when talking to important peoples.

3. An annoying "friend" was sending Dania* multiple nudges on MSN. After quite a few, Dania had had enough, and so, annoyed, she typed:

"Would you STOP, NUDING ME?"

That's it for today.

Take care, be good, beware of Typose, it is highly contagious.

* Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the patient.

Ah, Well

I was planning on writing an entire post about how much I hate our physics teacher.

(Needless to say, I did really bad today. Newton's 6th law: Danya never does well in physics. And if one of you leaves a comment telling me I'm going to get a full grade, I'm sorry One, but you are going to suffer the wrath of an angry Danya. I know I'm like the girl who cried wolf; I know that practically everytime I said I did bad I ended up getting a good/okay grade, but this time, I'm telling you: there's a friggin wolf).


Rocketing on. I'm too pissed off/tired/sleepy to write that post today. For some reason, I'm feeling like a hopeless romantic at the moment. I really don't know why.

So I'm just going to share with you a series of slightly cheesy with extra mozzarella on top quotes or sayings that will either make you feel very sad or give you tiny goosebumps and small butterflies in your tummy.

“One day you will ask me which is more important: my life or yours? I will say mine, and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.”

~ Khalil Gibran

"I want to make you feel beautiful all of the time.

I want to make you feel the way I feel when I look at you."

~ (doesn't matter)

Sulafa Marley, this is for you:

You may not be her first,

her last,

or her only.

She loved before;

she may love again.

But if she loves you now, what else matters?

She’s not perfect - you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never be perfect together.

But if she can make you laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes.....

Hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,

but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break:

her heart.

So don’t hurt her;

don’t change her;

don’t analyze,

and don’t expect more than she can give.

Smile when she makes you happy,

let her know when she makes you mad,

and miss her when she’s not there.”

~ Bob Marley

"He knew that 'I love you' also means 'I love you more than anyone else loves you, or has loved you, or will love you,' and also 'I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.”

~ Jonathan Safran Foer

Everything is Illuminated

"The most beautiful view is the one I share with you."

~ Author Unknown

As one final note, I would just like to make an honorable mention to how clumsy I've been these past couple of days.
I dropped the lemon juice jar (it broke)
I cut my toe (it still burns)
I dropped the TV remote (it broke but I taped it back together again)
I dropped the cookie jar (it broke)
I ruined my stereo (put it in the 220v outlet instead of the 110v one)
I banged my head into the freezer's door (second time this month)
**Note to self: Never ever open the freezer door then the refrigerator door without closing the freezer's door first. Otherwise, when your hunt for food ends and you quickly pull your head out of the fridge, you will bang your head into the freezer's door.
Today in the swimming pool I got flipped upside down on the inflatable toy whale then the inflatable Spiderman float thing.
(According to Samar, I have no sense of balance. According to me, her toys are imbalanced).
The list goes on but I'm afraid that I will sound like an incompetent fool.

I swear, physics has deep-fried my brain.
Actually, it stir fried it and turned it into Mu Shu Pork.

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A Phenomenon

Here's a fashion trend I'll never understand.


I'll let the pictures scream for themselves:

On another crickety note - Physics final tomorrow.

I really hope that this...

... does not happen.

I've seriously never studied this much before. I didn't even procrastinate! Okay, I did fall asleep (a lot) but I practically studied for 2 days straight. Alright alright, that is a slight exaggeration, but seriously, I studied, and that's a step further than what I usually do.

If I don't get a 40/40 tomorrow, in the words of the amazing Russell Peters:

Somebody gonna get hurt reeeeal bad.

Well, yeh........

Me, most likely.


Good luck ladies.

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STRANGER!

Omegle is the perfect place to have a good lol. I've recently decided to experiment the same "ice breaker" multiple times to see the different reactions I could get.

Today's ice breaker: STRANGER! Long time no see!

And the results! Drumroll please....



You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: hey
You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: yes, that´s me
Stranger: where r u from stranger?
You: Here. There. Everywhere
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(works like a charm)


You: STRANGER!
Stranger: hi
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: uff
Stranger: not cool
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: STRANGER!
Stranger: 23 male
Stranger: u?
You have disconnected.


You: STRANGER
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: yeees
Stranger: not really
You: Yes really.
You: There are plenty of strangers out there.
You: But nobody quite like you.
Stranger: didnt we talk some seconds ago?
You: :( I'm offended......
You: How can you not tell the difference?
You: That stranger was OBVIOUSLY a darker shade of red...
Stranger: haxl
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: hello[:
You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: f or m?
You: both
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(yeh I did not see that coming)


You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: thats me
Stranger: asl
You have disconnected.
(I have asl-bias)


You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see, eh?
Stranger: Lol
(At least one stranger thinks I'm funny!!! Or so I thought....)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: haha
(THIS ONE DIDN'T DISCONNECT)


Stranger: hey
You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: girl?
You: I don't really know
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: STRANGER!
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: dude wtf
Stranger: i just told u ur not cool
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



I'm SO doing that again!!!!!!!!



Alright, back to work now.

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Dragons and Hot Sauce

The rough draft for our final economics project is due tomorrow. It's 10:29 pm and I haven't started it yet. NOT BECAUSE I NEGLECTED IT (Okay, I did, but..) I totally forgot about it. I signed into MSN to tell my friend Fatima all about this Omegle chat I had with a weirdo Lebanese guy, when she said something that caused something very cold to trickle down my spine.... (Fear, I think):
"Dany, did you start your economics project?"


So I'm going to start it now. Cricket :)

I'll leave you with my favorite quote of the day - A statement made by my friend Nawal. I was fully convinced that I was the weirdest person I knew until I met her.

Nawal: "Oh my god the driver got me shawarma from that disgusting plaaaace.... I.. *takes a bite* Oh, no, wait, it actually tastes good. 'Cause like, last time I ate from it, it was SO weird, there was like ketchup and HOT SAUCE and weird stuff all over it.. It was so disgusting I felt like a dragon!"
Danya: "...... Since when do dragons eat hot sauce?"
Nawal: "Noooo, like.... They don't eat hot sauce, they BURP hot sauce."

I love you Nawal. I truly do.


Oh and I couldn't resist posting this:

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

~ Michael Althsuler

'Sif it's that simple.

Be good, do well, take care!

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Bout of Nostalgia

(The following excerpt is dedicated to my dear friend, Fatima Najeeb Al-Bassam.
She makes the sun shine brighter,
the grass look greener,
and the birds chirp louder.
She makes the world spin round and round.
If nobody is perfect,
then she is a nobody.
I was lost until I found her.
She is the needle sticks to my yarn,
the hot sauce to my sandwiches,
and the ink to my printer.
And she did not force me to dedicate this to her...)

Ah, Mulan. Great girl, great movie. Here is one of my favorite scenes of all time. Still makes me laugh:

Great Ancestor: [To the small hanging dragon statue]
Muuushuuu... awaken!

[The statue shakes and smokes. ]

Mushu:
I liiiiive! So, tell me, what mortal needs my protection, Great Ancestor. You just say the word, and I'm there.


Great Ancestor:
Mushu...


Mushu:
And lemme say something, anyone who's foolish enough to threaten OUR family, vengeance will be MIIIINE! Grr... arrgh...


Great Ancestor:
Mushu! These are the family guardians. They...


Mushu:
Protect the family. -_-


Great Ancestor:
And you, O Demoted One...


Mushu:
I ring the gong.


Great Ancestor:
That's right. Now, wake up the Ancestors...


Mushu:
One family reunion coming right up. Okay, people, people, look alive! Let's go, c'mon, get up! Let's move it! Rise and shine! Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing.


Ancestor #1:
I knew it, III knew it! That Mulan was a troublemaker from the start!


Ancestor #2:
Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family!


Ancestor #3:
She's just trying to help her father!


Ancestor #4:
But if she's discovered, Fa Zu will be forever shamed! Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate!


Ancestor #5:
Not to mention they'll lose the farm!


Ancestor #1:
My children never caused such trouble; they all became acupuncturists!


Ancestor #2:
Well, we can't all be acupuncturists!


Ancestor #6:
No! Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER!





Epic.



Be good!
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Six Impossible Things

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had as much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

~Lewis Carroll

Alice Through the Looking-Glass

1- I believe I will win the speech contest on June 12th.

2- I believe I will one day find the cure for Procrastinationvitus.

3- I believe there is a parallel universe where all the lost things go.

4- I believe I am going to be able to juggle between the AP chemistry online course that starts on June 15th and my finals, which start on the 20th (Oh cricket.....)

5- I believe I am 5 again.

6- I believe it's already summer vacation.

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