Thursday, August 6, 2009

She-Hulk



That video is adorable, I must say.



Alright so I went to the mall today. Here are the highlights of the day:



Highlight #1: The She Hulk Destroys Her Bras

I went to the mall because I had a mission – bra shopping.

I destroyed two bras while trying to put one on after I took a shower today. I was just pulling the first one over my head when I heard that unmistakable RRRRIP that had me giggling for a while. My bra ripped in half. That's never happened before. And I know I haven't gotten any bigger – oh contraire! I've lost 5 kgs and I don't even know how. I'm eating more than ever, sleeping more than ever, moving around less than ever – statistically speaking, I should be giving a Hummer a run for its money.


And when I tried to pull the second one on, THE SAME EXACT THING HAPPENED. This time I only gigged for two seconds. Then I frowned. Well, that's not cool, I thought. Now I only have one bra left! (I don't like any of my other bras, so I never use them).

So I put on my last bra carefully, meticulously, as if it were a fine piece of glass, or a very delicate slice of cheesecake. It didn't rip. Score.

My friend Lumberzack had everything to say about this, from calling me a She-Hulk to making this snarky comment:
"Danya: ME NO LIKE BRA ANYMORES! RARGH!"

Which naturally pissed me off, until I visualized myself as a primitive woman, with mud and dirt and leaves in my hair, muttering and mumbling and growling, with a club in one hand and a tattered bra in the other… then I was in hysterics.



Highlight #2: Let's All Get Married

So as soon as I got to the mall, the first thing I did was go to the food court (naturally). My mom was waiting for me at a table when I finished, and she told me that she'd invited my friend Deema (Sad Girl) to join us.

When Deema got there and my mom drifted away, she told me about the conversation she had with my darling mother on the phone. This is how it went:

My Darling Mother:
"So Deema, I was talking to Muayyad [my older brother] earlier today on the phone, and we started discussing marriage. And I asked him, 'What about Deema, dear? Why don't you love her? She'd be a great addition to the family.'"


Deema (Queen of dealing with awkward moments):
"Oh that would be splendid! Then let's get Danya to marry my brother Hisham, since they're both geniuses, and they can have little genius babies!"

My mother and I will have a little talk tomorrow.

I think her Arab roots are kicking in.



Highlight #3: "Is It a Jail?"

On the way back home from the mall with my uncle, my 13-year-old cousin suddenly pointed at a building on the right side of the road and said:
"Hey dad. What's that building? Is that a jail?"
Uncle: "No, you idiot. That's a college."
Cousin: "Ohhh… okay."

5 seconds later
Cousin points at a building on the left side of the road:
"What about that, dad? Is that a jail?"
Uncle: "…… That's a MOSQUE, son."
Cousin: "… Oh."



It's almost 5:30 am and I'm off to bed. Leave me a comment that'll make me laugh and we'll all live happily ever after.



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19 comments:

Kym said...

bahhaha i love those convos... is that a jail? no its a college. how ironic. hahaha! ;P and your bra story! :(

Little Miss Tiara said...

hahaha... okay, lol. poor bras xD how can you be the hulk? :O so powerful to rp two bras! Haha

and that's so fun the convo about he marriage, and of course, college is a jail, hahaha xD

maybe he's watching 'prison break' too much :d

Anonymous said...

second one dont like. Sad.

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LUMBERZACK said...

Oh, Tony Danya and your tap dance extravanzyas.
Destroying bras all across the world.
The universe even.

LUMBERZACK said...

&& by the way, I can't get over the video. The song is gorgeous. :D

Fatima said...

I like this.

And I commented on these stories in the message. So remember, granny panties, rape, 5 year-old bras and Indian love story.

Moodz-kun said...

My life is glorious!
It's glorious-er after reading this!:D

Congrats for ur 5kg loss! I gained 3-4 Kgs :D ..Marbrook 3aliyya!
I've eaten so much meat and chicken these past 3 weeks enough to feed 76% of Saudi Arabia!

The 2nd Highlight..Hilarious!! Bwahahaa! LOL @ "Why don't you love deema?!"... Totally lol'd at that :D

And THANK YOU for naming the post She-Hulk. NOOT! Now I have this image of you being all huge, muscly and green. AND ITS NOT A PRETTY IMAGE O_O !!

Moodz-kun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sara said...

Haha, your little cousin is wise beyond his years :)

Anonymous said...

^ Oh please..

Danya could be big, muscly and green but she'd still find a way to be absolutely beautiful without trying.

Moondust(: said...

lmfao I so love how you had to make up the convo going on with my brother and my dad
becuase that so isn't how my dad and brother converse with eachother. it's more along the lines of
hummed: babuh, what is that? a jail?
dad: no you idiot. a collge *huffs out a breath*

Moondust(: said...

lmfao I so love how you had to make up the convo going on with my brother and my dad
becuase that so isn't how my dad and brother converse with eachother. it's more along the lines of
hummed: babuh, what is that? a jail?
dad: no you idiot. a collge *huffs out a breath*

Moondust(: said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wuthering said...

I might have to comment as I go!!!

You are 2ooo funny :)

laf@calculation for hummer!
laf@breaking a bra in half!??!!

ok, ready to read on.

Wuthering said...

#2 Sounds like one big happy family!
#3 Your cousin is a very wise man :)

btw, we have similar taste! I was so close to blogging that video!

Yansy said...

It sounds like you had a great day! You really made me laugh. I wanted to invite you to check the new City Escapes series, it starts today.

Kelsie Lynn said...

she-hulk. haha! what a nick name- nice :D

Lisa Mitchell is great.

aaand, i know what you mean about mums interfering with little marriage hints here and there. not even funny.

L. Laws said...

I think I'm going to have to start reading your blog regularly. Brilliant and hilarious.

coldrevolt said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Danya I missed your blog so friggen much! and I miss you more. I need to see you asap you have no excuses. And LMAO!! especially highlight #2! this Deema friend of yours really handled it well haha