Never Again

“I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot”

~ Marilyn Monroe

Dear Marilyn:

You're quite right. We can't ever repay the debt we owe him. However, lately I've been known to show my appreciation towards people I love by strangling them with their own intestines. They always seem to get how much I care, once I do that – They turn blue with gratitude. Do give me a call if you're interested.

Sincerely,

Danya

-

So, folks, I quite obviously wore the heels.

I can't say it was awful, per se.

You be the judge.

30 minutes through the wedding:
My toes felt so scrunched up I worried I'd have to get them amputated.
This just proves my point, really:
Wearing heels is going against nature, and an unnatural position to put your body through.

3 hours through:
I'd stumbled quite often, but both my ankles are fine and unsprained :)

I did have an accident though. Well, two accidents, actually. Not my fault though. Well, the second one wasn't.

Accident #1

I tripped on my own feet (nothing new). I didn't fall, but my right foot's heel went into my left foot and left a deep gash there. It didn't hurt much, though……
Until…
Well, that brings us to Accident #2.

Accident #2

It was time for the buffet, and people were swarming around the salad bar like caged animals that were just set into the wild. This lady bumped into me (and not vice versa, I swear), and her salad-dressing-drenched spoon went flyyyying in the air……
I saw it all happen in slow motion, and I could honestly hear horror music playing in my head…...
Because the spoon was slowly descending…
Downwards…
Downwards……...
Towards my left foot……...
PLINK!
Right on the deep deep gash.

It burned like Dante's Inferno for around 5 minutes. But then I was fine.

5 hours through, at 3 am (welcome to the world of Saudi weddings):

I just couldn't care less. I kicked my heels off and passed out on a couch, jumping awake every 5 minutes when the kids kept throwing water-soaked roses at me.

I wish they didn't like me so much. I should start being mean to them.

105 Things That Make Me Smile

Regina Spektor - Eet

105 Things That Make Me Smile

(Just to mention a few)

1. Smiles

2. Friends

3. When I'm in a movie and I find a piece of caramel popcorn in the middle of my butter popcorn

4. Sneezing when I really need to sneeze

5. Making someone else smile/laugh

6. Bubble wrap

7. Kiddie furniture catalogues

8. Flea markets

9. Reminiscing

8. Tree houses that people actually live in (I call them tree homes)

9. Old jeans

10. When someone remembers small details about me

11. Handmade gifts

12. Or just really meaningful ones

13. Comfortable silences

14. The smell of home cooked food

15. The sky

16. Old couples holding hands

17. Midnight phone calls that last for hours about the stupidest things

18. Sarcasm

19. Quotes (good ones)

20. Light

21. Tulips

22. Catching the perfect moment with my camera

23. Singing Barney songs or oldies that annoy people

24. Making a baby giggle

25. Realizing how much I love someone

26. Comments on the stupidest of my posts

27. Cheeky comments on Youtube

28. Receiving "just because" e-mails

29. Hearing a song I used to love when I was a kid on the radio

30. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer

31. Goggles (the word, the person, and the actual things)

32. Inside jokes that never die

33. Running through sprinklers

34. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about me

35. When a random person in the mall smiles at me

36. Cupcakes

37. Old Disney movies

38. Colored chalk

39. Sofana's dip

40. Lemony Snicket

41. Snow

42. Cheesecake

43. When something finally makes sense

44. Banksy

45. Open-minded people

46. When a baby wraps his hand around my finger

47. This:

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too..." F*** off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat? What should I eat, someone else's cake instead?

~ George Carlin

48. The Simpsons

49. Family Guy

50. This:

One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, "Is it half full or half empty?" So I drank the water. No more problem.

~ Alexander Jodorowsky

51. Learning something new

52. Walking to no where in particular

53. Campfires

54. Sleeping in

55. The smell of a new book

56. Sunlight

57. Baby shoes

58. Take-out

59. Kids that say the darndest things:

Dana, Fati's sister:
(Their housekeeper was making us chicken burgers, when suddenly Dana walked in and said...)
"Danya, your buns are toasted."

Jennah, my cousin:
(First day I met her)
"Danya, your feet are pretty."
"I'm wearing shoes…"
"I know. They're still pretty :)"
"Thanks?"

(whispers in my ear):
"Just so you know, I'm not intimate with your foot."

Zeina, my sister:
(On the phone talking to her friend)
"But biology is geometry and geometry is psychology, you see."

60. Fighting with my brother and sister about the stupidest things in the car just because we're bored witless and making my dad say:

"My next car will have two stories……"

61. Baby giraffes

62. Baby zebras

63. Baby monkeys

64. Baby elephants

65. Oh I'll go ahead and say it: Babies. When they're not crying

66. Lunchboxes

67. Ladybugs

68. Typewriters

69. Blowing bubbles

70. Creative advertisements

71. Drawing on walls

72. People who wear the weirdest clothes in public. Cheers, I secretly want to be like you

73. Photographs

74. Happy endings. I don't care if they're cheesy or impossible. I don't see a movie because I want to see an adaptation of real life; I see a movie because I want to get away from it. So bring on the sappy lameness, I really don't mind.

75. Old sitcoms I used to watch when I was a kid. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Saved by the Bell, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Clueless....

76. Seinfeld

78. Scrubs

79. Being spoiled when I have stomach cramps

80. Being right

81. Remembering who a certain person looks like after racking my brain for ages

82. Dr. Suess

83. Dr. Pepper

84. Post-its

85. This: http://www.simonhoegsberg.com/we_are_all_gonna_die/slider.html

(a 100m wide photo)

86. Sour mangoes

87. Hand-written letters

88. Floating on my back in the swimming pool

89. Grilled sandwiches

90. The way a paper feels after it's been almost completely covered with writing from a ballpoint pen

91. Listening to my mom tell a bedtime story she made up on the spot

92. Not having to set an alarm

93. Going to bed with my sheets fresh from the laundry

94. Playing Slapjack with Alia

95. Photobooths (P.S. Fati you still didn't give me that Photobooth picture from Berlin)

96. Little kids with non-American accents

97. Chips (French fries) that are crunchy from the outside and soft on the inside

98. Adventures in Ikea

99. Vacuum lines in the carpet

100. Pretending to have a British accent

101. Writing things on foggy mirrors and watching them appear again the next time I take a bath

102. Large sweatshirts

103. These:

104. This:

105.This:

When Love Story (Taylor Swift) meets Viva La Vida (Coldplay). Alone: two overrated songs. Combined: Something close to magical.

And I just love watching their faces. They look so happy it's kind of cute. Music at its rawest.

So that's it. 105 things that make me smile.

I now demand that you tell me (at least) 5 things that make you smile.

:)

%%%

Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds

Lucky you; today you get music, photos, and quotes! Best combo ever. Beats Happy Meals.


Newton Faulkner - Dream Catch Me

(not the type of thing I usually like, but it's pretty cool, not to mention mood-matching)

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing.

~Eric Berne

*I wish I can remember how I edited that photo, because I quite like it.

"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

~ dunno

“It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that’s dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It’s so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can’t say the things you want to.”

~ Henry Rollins

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

~ Soren Kierkegaard

“Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about you”

~ Jonathan Safran Foer

“There are some dreams that get stuck between your teeth when you sleep, so that when you open your mouth to yawn awake they fly right out of you.”

~ Jodi Picoult, Vanishing Acts

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

~ Dahl, The Twits

“I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry."

~Cat Stevens

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”

~Winnie the Pooh

Fin.

Hey I've got a question for you. I want to know what you think is worse:

Believing in something and not standing up for it/not acting upon it,

or

Fiercely denying something you already know, that place deep down that's full of wisdom and intestines, is true?

%

Quote

Because I have no time to write anything at the moment, since I am working on analyzing the rhetorical modes, tropes, and schemes used in JFK's wonderful inaugural speech (which I could have finished during the weekend if I hadn't slept for..... wait, let me calculate.... 9.. plus 12.. plus 5.. plus 5...... oh wow, 31 hours) a quote will do just fine for today:

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."

~ Winston Churchill

P.S. Rhetorical devices suck. W11A girls, I know you all empathize.