Thursday, September 10, 2009

deafening silence

aloha! how are you kind people doing?
here's something new i wrote for my shnovel.
shnovel cos it isn't an actual novel, but, here we go :p

The world is full of paradoxes and oxymorons.

Deafening silences.
Military intelligence.
Unbiased opinions.
Natural make-up.
Wars against terror.

And feeling like a stranger in one's own home.

As I lay here on my bed, on the covers I've owned for six years now, covers that I've outgrown, covers that aren't being replaced no matter how many times I ask my mother to – I listen to the sounds of "my family's" chattering and laughter.

Me not being with them is akin to me being there.
What difference does it make?

I keep waiting for someone to knock on my door, to wonder, "Where the heck is that girl?"
But my waiting is in vain.
Because everyone knows I don't belong there, with them.
I should know that better than anyone.
If I go out there, I'm only going to end up running back here.
The only place where I don't feel claustrophobic. The only place where I don't feel like a fraud, like a sore thumb sticking out. The only place where I don't feel like clawing my way out of my own skin.

Because in here, I don't have to be anyone. I don't have to play a part. I don't have to laugh at all the right jokes, gasp at all the right places, smile at all the right stories, I don't have to tell any of my own.
I don't have to watch as people scramble to fill empty silences with empty words.

In here, silence is the language everyone speaks in.

In here, silence has a sound. It pulses from the very being of the room, from the off-white walls…
It's okay, it whispers to me.
It doesn't all have to make sense.
You belong here.
And you don't even have to try.

so, tell me something interesting; i'm kind of bored.
p.s. i need a new website to post music from. the one i've been using sucks. i just found out all the stuff i posted before doesn't even play anymore.
what the cricket?
so yes. any suggestions would be handy dandy.
see you!



Anonymous said...

whatever happened to noteflight? %%

Moondust(: said...

we must figure out the issue about our friends *hint*
dude, yeah so this is like one of my favorites. Becuase I thought about that the other night, about how everyone I know HAS to fill silence, how they can't have it as just another guest in the room. I love the way we both think the same on issues like this, family, our selves. It mkaes me feel...understood I guess. I love you cousin dear.

Anonymous said...

How much do you score in your creative writing tasks Danya? :P

Elise said...

Hello - what a lovely post ! Your site is really interesting to. Thank you for sharing it, best wishes and.... lovely to meet you !

a moment i treasure said...

i used to feel like that when i would come home from college--like i wasn't a part of what was going on anymore...i got over it! ;) i have a fabulous family! we can sit and say nothing to each other, and it still feels like home.

happy thursday! :)

a moment i treasure said...
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Wuthering said...



JJ said...

Can you get anymore amazing?

persian melon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Feelmore said...

dood. i wrote you along comment on my blog but can't remember where i wrote it. aaah life is so hard!

sitting on toilets in public are not disgusting unless there is junk in the bowl. or unless your pants are down. actually, wait. it is kind of disgusting. but i would have done it too. so there.

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