Friday, June 26, 2009

Demon of Procrastination Rears its Ugly Head Again

This is what happens whenever I try to study math:

Weird.. angel things. Dream Theater lyrics. Dream Theater logo. An eye. My name (twice). Pink Floyd lyrics. An apple. A globe. Piano keys. Some math. And an elephant shaped like a tennis ball, holding a tennis racket. With his trunk.

I wonder what my mom would say if she saw this paper. She tends to analyze whatever I doodle.

For example, I used to draw butterflies a lot. And whenever she saw them she'd to say,
"This means you're longing to be free. Free of what, Danya? Tell me."

Then when I switched to flowers she'd say,
"Ah, so. You have bloomed. Does this mean you're free of whatever was bothering you? I'm glad."
And she leaves the room with a satisfied smile on her face.

As for eyes, I've been drawing them since 4th grade. Apparently they mean:
"Danya, you're feeling like you're constantly being watched. By whom, Danya? Tell me."

She also comments on how I write my name a lot. It means I am a narcissist. I am awed by the fact that she can so artfully balance between calling me a narcissist on some days, then telling me I need to feel more confident on others.

My mother is a weirdo. Like mother, like daughter, I suppose.

I wonder what she'd say if she saw that elephant tennis ball.

List of possible scenarios:

"You have a secret need to whack an elephant with a tennis racket."

"Wow.... This is... This is... deep, man. Real deep."

"Honey, have you been taking something? Are you riding the white pony?"

"This is...... This means..... You............ You're feeling.... This is beyond my area of expertise.... I'm calling a psychiatrist."

Math final tomorrow. Gulp.


Monday, June 22, 2009

Typose Syndrome

Typose syndrome is a sudden inflammation of one's fingers, causing one to make very serious typing errors. While mild cases are often successfully treated with the careful treading of one's fingers upon the keyboard, severe cases may require admission to the ICU or even surgery (often requiring more than one intervention) to deal with with complications of the disease process.

Typose syndrome can also occur when one's fingers look and feel perfectly fine, which has caused doctors to believe that typose syndrome might be a psychological disease. It affects both males and females equally.


1. Hereditary - a parent could carry the gene without being affected.
2. Typose syndrome is heterogeneous, comprising more than one similar condition of differing cause, some not inherited.
3. Greasy fingers.
4. Hyperactiveness.
5. A very important story to tell (not necessarily amusing or interesting).
6. Over-studying.

Researchers have reached the conclusion that typose syndrome usually occurs:
1. in the most embarrassing contexts
2. when one is sleepy
3. when one thinks a story is funny
4. after studying physics.


1. Typos
2. Embarrassment
3. "Giggle" fits
4. Akathisia (the inability to sit still)
5. Festinating speech
6. Drooling
7. Diharrea
8. Inflammation of the cornea


The term typose is derived from the Latin word for mistake: erroris.............

Skeptics believe that the term is actually, ironically, derived from a typo that occured during an MSN conversation between a Danya and a Daas - also known as Twinnie.
Daas was attemtping to type the word "typoes" (which is obviously a spelling mistake, but Daas is not the brightest star in the sky).


Besides the clinical diagnosis, rapidly increasing typos may confirm the diagnosis. In a clinical diagnosis, a CAT scan and an ultrasound are used to locate and trace the origin of the disease, which is usually metastatic at presentation, and more often than not located in the pancreas.

Classic examples of chronic typose syndrome:

1. Dania* was calling Deema, the class genius, who was just refusing to answer her phone. Aggravated, Dania sent a message to Deema, saying:

"Yesterday my friend told me about a fascinating invention called dicking up when someone calls."

She had meant to sound all snippy and cool, but..... (I don't know if you noticed it, dear reader, but it's practically doing the Macarena in a sequined suit...) that typo totally killed everything. And only after a couple of hours did Dania realize what a nasty pun her typo was.

2. Daas (mentioned previously) has a tendency to type "tit" instead of "it" when talking to important peoples.

3. An annoying "friend" was sending Dania* multiple nudges on MSN. After quite a few, Dania had had enough, and so, annoyed, she typed:

"Would you STOP, NUDING ME?"

That's it for today.

Take care, be good, beware of Typose, it is highly contagious.

* Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the patient.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Ah, Well

I was planning on writing an entire post about how much I hate our physics teacher.

(Needless to say, I did really bad today. Newton's 6th law: Danya never does well in physics. And if one of you leaves a comment telling me I'm going to get a full grade, I'm sorry One, but you are going to suffer the wrath of an angry Danya. I know I'm like the girl who cried wolf; I know that practically everytime I said I did bad I ended up getting a good/okay grade, but this time, I'm telling you: there's a friggin wolf).

Rocketing on. I'm too pissed off/tired/sleepy to write that post today. For some reason, I'm feeling like a hopeless romantic at the moment. I really don't know why.

So I'm just going to share with you a series of slightly cheesy with extra mozzarella on top quotes or sayings that will either make you feel very sad or give you tiny goosebumps and small butterflies in your tummy.

“One day you will ask me which is more important: my life or yours? I will say mine, and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.”
~ Khalil Gibran

"I want to make you feel beautiful all of the time.
I want to make you feel the way I feel when I look at you."
~ (doesn't matter)

Sulafa Marley, this is for you:

You may not be her first,
her last,
or her only.
She loved before;
she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She’s not perfect - you aren’t either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together.
But if she can make you laugh,
cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes.....
Hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break:
her heart.
So don’t hurt her;
don’t change her;
don’t analyze,
and don’t expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she’s not there.”
~ Bob Marley

"He knew that 'I love you' also means 'I love you more than anyone else loves you, or has loved you, or will love you,' and also 'I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.”
~ Jonathan Safran Foer
Everything is Illuminated

"The most beautiful view is the one I share with you."
~ Author Unknown

As one final note, I would just like to make an honorable mention to how clumsy I've been these past couple of days.
I dropped the lemon juice jar (it broke)
I cut my toe (it still burns)
I dropped the TV remote (it broke but I taped it back together again)
I dropped the cookie jar (it broke)
I ruined my stereo (put it in the 220v outlet instead of the 110v one)
I banged my head into the freezer's door (second time this month)
**Note to self: Never ever open the freezer door then the refrigerator door without closing the freezer's door first. Otherwise, when your hunt for food ends and you quickly pull your head out of the fridge, you will bang your head into the freezer's door.
Today in the swimming pool I got flipped upside down on the inflatable toy whale then the inflatable Spiderman float thing.
(According to Samar, I have no sense of balance. According to me, her toys are imbalanced).
The list goes on but I'm afraid that I will sound like an incompetent fool.

I swear, physics has deep-fried my brain.
Actually, it stir fried it and turned it into Mu Shu Pork.


Friday, June 19, 2009

A Phenomenon

Here's a fashion trend I'll never understand.

I'll let the pictures scream for themselves:

On another crickety note - Physics final tomorrow.

I really hope that this...

... does not happen.

I've seriously never studied this much before. I didn't even procrastinate! Okay, I did fall asleep (a lot) but I practically studied for 2 days straight. Alright alright, that is a slight exaggeration, but seriously, I studied, and that's a step further than what I usually do.

If I don't get a 40/40 tomorrow, in the words of the amazing Russell Peters:

Somebody gonna get hurt reeeeal bad.

Well, yeh........

Me, most likely.

Good luck ladies.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Omegle is the perfect place to have a good lol. I've recently decided to experiment the same "ice breaker" multiple times to see the different reactions I could get.

Today's ice breaker: STRANGER! Long time no see!

And the results! Drumroll please....

You: Long time no see!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: yes, that´s me
Stranger: where r u from stranger?
You: Here. There. Everywhere
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(works like a charm)

Stranger: hi
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: uff
Stranger: not cool
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: 23 male
Stranger: u?
You have disconnected.

You: Long time no see!
Stranger: yeees
Stranger: not really
You: Yes really.
You: There are plenty of strangers out there.

You: But nobody quite like you.
Stranger: didnt we talk some seconds ago?
You: :( I'm offended......
You: How can you not tell the difference?
You: That stranger was OBVIOUSLY a darker shade of red...
Stranger: haxl
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello[:
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: f or m?
You: both
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(yeh I did not see that coming)

You: Long time no see!
Stranger: thats me
Stranger: asl
You have disconnected.
(I have asl-bias)

You: Long time no see, eh?
Stranger: Lol
(At least one stranger thinks I'm funny!!! Or so I thought....)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Long time no see!
Stranger: haha

Stranger: hey
You: Long time no see!
Stranger: girl?
You: I don't really know
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: Long time no see!
Stranger: dude wtf
Stranger: i just told u ur not cool
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm SO doing that again!!!!!!!!

Alright, back to work now.


Monday, June 8, 2009

Dragons and Hot Sauce

The rough draft for our final economics project is due tomorrow. It's 10:29 pm and I haven't started it yet. NOT BECAUSE I NEGLECTED IT (Okay, I did, but..) I totally forgot about it. I signed into MSN to tell my friend Fatima all about this Omegle chat I had with a weirdo Lebanese guy, when she said something that caused something very cold to trickle down my spine.... (Fear, I think):
"Dany, did you start your economics project?"

So I'm going to start it now. Cricket :)

I'll leave you with my favorite quote of the day - A statement made by my friend Nawal. I was fully convinced that I was the weirdest person I knew until I met her.

Nawal: "Oh my god the driver got me shawarma from that disgusting plaaaace.... I.. *takes a bite* Oh, no, wait, it actually tastes good. 'Cause like, last time I ate from it, it was SO weird, there was like ketchup and HOT SAUCE and weird stuff all over it.. It was so disgusting I felt like a dragon!"
Danya: "...... Since when do dragons eat hot sauce?"
Nawal: "Noooo, like.... They don't eat hot sauce, they BURP hot sauce."

I love you Nawal. I truly do.

Oh and I couldn't resist posting this:

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.
~ Michael Althsuler

'Sif it's that simple.
Be good, do well, take care!


Friday, June 5, 2009

Bout of Nostalgia

(The following excerpt is dedicated to my dear friend, Fatima Najeeb Al-Bassam.
She makes the sun shine brighter,
the grass look greener,
and the birds chirp louder.
She makes the world spin round and round.
If nobody is perfect,
then she is a nobody.
I was lost until I found her.
She is the needle sticks to my yarn,
the hot sauce to my sandwiches,
and the ink to my printer.
And she did not force me to dedicate this to her...)

Ah, Mulan. Great girl, great movie. Here is one of my favorite scenes of all time. Still makes me laugh:

Great Ancestor: [To the small hanging dragon statue]
Muuushuuu... awaken!

[The statue shakes and smokes. ]

I liiiiive! So, tell me, what mortal needs my protection, Great Ancestor. You just say the word, and I'm there.

Great Ancestor:


And lemme say something, anyone who's foolish enough to threaten OUR family, vengeance will be MIIIINE! Grr... arrgh...

Great Ancestor:
Mushu! These are the family guardians. They...

Protect the family. -_-

Great Ancestor:
And you, O Demoted One...

I ring the gong.

Great Ancestor:
That's right. Now, wake up the Ancestors...

One family reunion coming right up. Okay, people, people, look alive! Let's go, c'mon, get up! Let's move it! Rise and shine! Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing.

Ancestor #1:
I knew it, III knew it! That Mulan was a troublemaker from the start!

Ancestor #2:
Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family!

Ancestor #3:
She's just trying to help her father!

Ancestor #4:
But if she's discovered, Fa Zu will be forever shamed! Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate!

Ancestor #5:
Not to mention they'll lose the farm!

Ancestor #1:
My children never caused such trouble; they all became acupuncturists!

Ancestor #2:
Well, we can't all be acupuncturists!

Ancestor #6:
No! Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER!


Be good!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Six Impossible Things

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."
"I dare say you haven't had as much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
~Lewis Carroll
Alice Through the Looking-Glass

1- I believe I will win the speech contest on June 12th.
2- I believe I will one day find the cure for Procrastinationvitus.
3- I believe there is a parallel universe where all the lost things go.
4- I believe I am going to be able to juggle between the AP chemistry online course that starts on June 15th and my finals, which start on the 20th (Oh cricket.....)
5- I believe I am 5 again.
6- I believe it's already summer vacation.